I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
