CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
