I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
