she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
why does every cop we meet know your name?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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