I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
