This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
