so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
