I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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