haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
