Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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