..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
