took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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