Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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