Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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