My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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