What a fucking waste of an outfit
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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