Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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