Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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