You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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