I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
