he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I would fuck him just for his dog
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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