I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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