we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you will always have a special place in my vag
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
