Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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