had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
