No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
