okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
tell me about the fingering
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