She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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