dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
