Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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