sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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