these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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