i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
