Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
