that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
