I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
