The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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