she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sarcasm needs its own font
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
