you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
