So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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