The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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