My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
