We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
