Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
honey bunches of taint.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
