Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
