chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
