you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
