I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
