It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think my vagina is haunted
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I want to be your penis for a week.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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