She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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