worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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