Your tits are I can't wait for
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
