I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
