butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
