Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
