it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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