you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
