I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
