New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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