Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
