she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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