yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
