The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
