Your tits are I can't wait for
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
