ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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