to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
