So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
