It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
